However, if you compare it with the original RHS script and the screenplay for RHPS, you'll probably agree with me that, if this isn't authentic, it's a damn good forgery. SONNY starts to sing a song that will go something or other like this. Do you think that the young people would be weak enough, foolish enough, to be taken in by a proselytizing extraterrestrial with a mouth full of sweet talk and a dick that swings both ways? MARY LOU enters with three drinks and a huge brown paper grocery sack full of white powder. RAY He's a rock star, making his way in an industry that's rife with temptation, but does he lack moral principles? Sci Fi and Gothic horror are in, but, don't try and tell me that this Planet, this Transylvania really exists or I'm going to have to start calling for the men in white coats. Thank you to my anonymous source for providing this; you know who you are. Then RAY talks and this time it is both quiet and cold. My boy, Sonny, loves it, he used to go all the time. They still do, but what they don't know is that it's a true story ... SONNY: LIFE IS SWEET ON THE STREET WHEN YOU'RE TURNING ON THE HEAT AND BURNING FOR SOME INDISCREET DEMENTIA AN EPISODE IN THE ROAD CAN CAUSE YOU TO EXPLODE AND THEN SAY 'WELL I'M BLOWED! ' IT MAYBE HARD WHEN YOU'VE STARRED TO A HATEFUL BOULEVARD TO DISREGARD THE DETRIMENTAL CENSURE JUST SKIP AND POST HAVE A LAUGH FLIP THOSE FOES YOUR AUTOGRAPH AS YOU TRIP THE PRIMROSE PATH TO FRESH ADVENTURE. She puts everything down except for her drink, sits down and crosses her legs. It may be worth pointing out at this juncture, that RIFF is more than a little loopy. As we do so, we hear STEVE's thoughts in VOICE OVER. O.) It all began for me the day that I heard a song on the radio about the moon drenched shores of Transylvania and things started to fall into place. He lies on top of the coffin and begins kissing the head end. So I headed on over to my Chief's office in order that I might tell him of my suspicions and about a plan I'd come up with which might put a smile on his face, after all, he was the big banana and with luck I thought that I might be able to pull it off. It is very obviously artificial and nothing more than a promotion video for the song. This will be underscored with both sounds and music which will, relate to, and round- off, SONNY's song. SONG: "THE MOON DRENCHED SHORES OF TRANSYLVANIA" SONNY (V. STAY VAIN IN TRANSYLVANIA STAY SANE IN TRANSYLVANIA REMAIN IN TRANSYLVANIA IT'S TIME AND MONEY WELL SPENT YOU ONLY LOSE RESENTMENT AND SOON CONTENTMENT COULD BE YOURS ON THE SANDS OF THE MOON DRENCHED SHORES OF TRANSYLVANIA. RIFF RAFF Oh why, oh why did you make me kill the only thing I ever loved in my entire life, you??? RAY is dressed that very baggy, expensive Italian designer look. Hell I knew it was going to be a hit the first time I heard it. We hear the double beat of a bass drum, like a heartbeat and CUT TO 3. LET ME SING FOR YOU THE SONG OF THE SIRENS IT'S NOT UNKNOWN TO MAKE A GROWN MAN CRY WHY DON'T WE SWING IT WITH THE MYRAS AND THE MYRONS WHOAH MAN LIKE ONAN YOU'LL BE HOME AND DRY. You drove me mad with jealousy, cut me to the quick with your shamelessness, how could you even look at another, when I was all you ever needed? He's in his forties and is given to wearing his hair in a pony tail. STEVE Agent Steve Majors, Chief, I have to talk to you. I said, "Sonny, that one's gonna make it all the way to the number one slot", and boy, was I right.
As to the script, when typing it in, I kept fairly faithful to the capitalization and punctuation. The SMALL PERSON and RIFF snake along the corridor. I balance my feelings of sleaziness with distributing this by telling myself that fans of Richard O'Brien and Rocky Horror would be missing out if they never got a chance to experience it. O'Brien, and I hope he realizes that I'm trying to honor, not cash in on, him. Having said that, I would like it that these paragraphs be included whenever and wherever this script is reproduced. Unfortunately, though, it seems very unlikely that this will ever be made into a movie, and I feel that this is unfortunate. RAY I'm well aware that there are a lot of people unable to dig themselves out of the shit that they've buried themselves into, but let's face it, there's riff raff everywhere these days.
It works well as a proper followup to Rocky Horror, and is actually quite entertaining to read.
I also can't verify that this /was/ written by Richard O'Brien. or an Alien that didn't turn out to be something quite normal and understandable.